uncertainties

Who do you love?
Are you sure?

guilty

I have not been in a committed relationship for a while now. I've had people attracted to me but they were usually looking for a play thing over anything worthwhile. For the ones I have been attracted to, I have to admit that I was probably more attracted to their potential than their current state. A friend posted a poem from a male perspective that seemed funny as heck when I first read it, but can actually be quite accurate for a number of females, present company included.

We Can

No actually..

We Can't be...

No, no its not you, it's me
Because I can't be...
fit into the boxes you keep
Nah tek no check
from your mate-must-have checklist
I do wish I could, wish I might...
all think bout wish pon the first star I see tonight

But instead what I'm seeing is the light.
That the major failing in this plan to par
lies in the fact you like who I could be...
while I like who you are!

So time to pack it in
Luckily not much to regret
Technically the people you wanted in this relationship...
have never met

- §oulless® circa 27 Nov 09

nomadic trait

Getting that overwhelming tired feeling again...
like I'm ready for another major change

celebrating life

I find myself in a solemn mood today. December is usually a season of festivities, celebrating the birth over 2000 years ago of a very extraordinary man with a very extraordinary life. However in the midst of the celebration of his birth, I am faced with a different celebration of life... that of those around me, already lived and ended.

I am again, on another December morning, grateful for those I still have in my life, and reminded that every breath is fleeting. In an instant, it all could be gone. I have kept love from those I would otherwise pour myself on in order to protect myself... if I knew I would not see their face tomorrow, would I do the same? I have left the presence of people I care about without so much as a goodbye because I was busy or rushing... taking it fully for granted that I will see them the next day. When we have the people we love around us all the time, we take something very basic and yet very precious for granted... our ability to see, touch, smell, and hear them.

RIP MM

one year later

still on my heart

love you bro.

quote of the day

Found this one more funny than true but :)

'Everyone can be nice if you give them a chance,
but not everyone deserves a chance.'
- J.M.

family traits

I am very much like my brother,
devoid of patience at times
when I probably need it the most.

bright coloured grey lines

Little boxes of wrong come dressed in cute, sweet-smelling boxes, filled with many logical reasons for their being a great part of your life.

fight and drown or relax and float

Silence between two solid friends is comfortable.
Silence between two on shaky ground is not.
Yet
Discussions about the friendship between two solid friends make it stronger.
Discussions about the friendship between two friends on shaky ground can either make the whole thing better, or if dragged on, can perpetuate the problem.

Problems are bound to arise between people, but the longer a pair of friends take to get over the problem, and the more the problem becomes the focus of their entire friendship, is the more the problem will grow and the actual friendship may be stifled behind all the drama.

It is as if the more one fights for something is the faster the thing will run away and the more exhausted ones feel, and the more one lets it take its course is the better off it will be.

yes, I'm single

It's official that when you hit a certain age range, the stage of your life changes. Gone are the days when your friends are the closest thing ever and you did every daily thing together. Now, people want their own space and they want only certain people in it. For those seeking a family, more often than not, that space is room enough for one. In this stage, solid friendships remain solid when that space is recognized, acknowledged and freely given without tension or pressure. Family is the order of the day.

For the single lot of us, what does all this mean? Today I realized it means I am the person who cares the most about me. I too have a focus on family, but for now that stability is only acquired from the people I grew up with: my parents and siblings. Being single isn't some disease that needs running away from, but it comes with it's own set of challenges. My family, bless their hearts, will still remain the people on the ground to really care on a daily basis till someone else gets the job. That aspect of tribal culture has not really changed after all these years. When we forcibly remove ourselves from their eyes, that basically means we run the show all on our own... a liberating yet sometimes lonely road. I'm somewhere in between both of those. I run the show on my own till I can't really manage, and then go grasping for help... and in real time, that type of dependability can only be expected from my family.

Yes, I'm single. Thanks for the reminder.