absent

It starts, barely recognizable; a small tightening on the inside.

The frequency of the occurrence increases. Then, as if coalesced with itself, it decreases in frequency but intensifies, becoming almost unbearable.

It pulls until it leaves a hole too large to fill with short, scattered efforts. It persists like an eager child, prancing up and down, heart pounding in anticipation, selfishly craving full attention.

Ignoring eventually achieves dormancy, but leaves the space empty. Temporary indulgence quenches temporarily. Permanence required.

tribute: music is

Mere strokes of black and white
that give birth to colourful expressions
of the deepest emotional passion,
compelling those within reach to respond
with excitement, calm, sadness, joy,
love, lust, awe and anger.

A stimulant of yearning or comfort
for a soul left solitude,
erupting memories with each measure,
bringing loved ones close
and lovers closer.

The voice of a people too poor to be heard,
that carries the weight of their burdens
with each note,
imprinting their hardships, successes, and hopes
of someday being ignored no longer.

The single most unifying element
between nationality, culture, race and class
yet so diverse it welcomes an earthly king,
praises the heavenly Father,
initiates revelry in the streets,
communicates and signals the rebellion of slaves,
and soothes a newborn to slumber.

All this and more and yet
music is... nothing

without you.

great expectations

a man who loves God with all his heart
and is obedient to His word.
a striving reflection of Jesus
to build a family that yields children who
love and respect God, others, and themselves.
who helps to teach and enforce what is right
and recognize that which is displeasing
not only to others, but to God as well.

a man who has a passion for life and goals,
not too similar to be boring,
not too separate to be incompatible.
who respects my thoughts and feelings
and is open and patient when ours differ.
who is willing to work through the differences
not to prove he is right, but to arrive
at a place we are both comfortable accepting.

someone who will listen and comfort
not only my words, but also my silence.
who loves me now, just the way I am,
not the way he expects me to be in years to come.

someone who sparks my spirit,
lifts me up and not pull me down,
to become one unit and strive
towards a common life's goal.
...to see heaven with.

someone I can be the same with
that I expect of him.

shortsighted

In this mortal life it be truly unfortunate to spend the fleeting moments in the absence of that which the heart loves most.

worm hole

a break in all things present
without reliving a past

the future, a constant
untouched, uncertain
as always

everything new
except the feeling

deja vu

I brace for the inevitable. The void forms quickly inside when my eyes open to the reality that part of me is missing. This is familiar... my soul sighs.