sure

When you've been sitting in a deserted station
with no schedule for the inconsistent arrivals
you are bound to hop a train that stops
even if it is not heading in your intended direction.

scary not knowing
where your heading

quote of the day

'I wonder what I did for God today:
How many times did I once pause and pray?
But I must find and serve Him in these ways,
For life is made of ordinary days.'

~Macbeth

soul searching

stuck
in limbo.
certain uncertainty.
deeply conflicted.
words forcing
frustrated thoughts
into willing ears,
unwilling minds.
saddened hearts
hidden behind
loving eyes.

cats & dogs

I seem to be always running
in a direction that is receding,
a target that is constantly moving,
as excitement wanes for the chasing

In the middle of all this running
there is something that is stabilizing
and though that stability keeps swinging
it becomes more and more appealing

pink.sun.flower

my little widening flower
sits there keeping her own company
tilting her head in one direction
basking in the attention of the sun...
warm affection raining down on her
admiring her
loving her

blind

Slowly but surely I'm getting there,
learning to trust that little voice in my head.

following

A line of ants
each alone
all together
marching without a leader
bumping heads
pheromone trails
leading them
to the sticky-sweet
residue of a
dead mosquito
parasite turned provenance
food for five thousand

A line of people
all alone
each together
marching without a leader
bumping heads
mindless traditions
leading them
to predictable spaces
residue of a
dead school of thought
paradise filled with parasites
food for destruction

increments

One lowly flame in the middle of a dark room
like one novel thought in a sea of mindless tradition
Two bodies wrapped together in a soft skin embrace
like a velvet and silk bowtie on a Christmas present
Three little birds piping through the speakers
like a mother's lullaby, all whispers and comfort and safety
Four o'clock on the small electronic gadget on the nightstand
like a lighthouse keeping guard over calm but dangerous waters

full path

the struggle seems too great
but the prize too precious;
a search for individuality
that often leaves him drained and strained;
a fight against the norms and rules
that will hopefully, one day, lead to the formation
of a rounded individual,
content
with a life well lived
a heart well used
a brain exhausted

impaired

his thoughts tumble over in rapid succession
and his mind is sharper than a paper's edge,
yet you and I will never know it
all due to his difficulty with expression.

paying for pain

she gives herself to many
nameless faces
as numerous as the tears she often hides
and yet in all this giving
she has yet to find the one worthy
to even remember the experience

shut

scream it at me
shout it out
release the demon trapped inside

rent your clothes
ruffle your hair
show the anger you try to hide

you sit there in silence
bottling it in
refusing to release your wounded pride

aftermath

His hands touched her back in that soft dented spot, sweet and gently. Together they lay in the calm of the early morning, the sun slowly bringing their surroundings to life as they lay pleased and satisfied at a bond consummated.

inside lines

Inside feelings are very difficult to articulate with just raw words, but the bonding experience is sometimes worth the act of trying.
---
Good stuff is trying and failing to stay subdued and pensive with someone determined to squeeze a smile right out of you.
---
Sometimes the best way to deal with a difficult problem is to avoid the situation that gets you there in the first place.
---
Other people's sunshine, smiles and all, is a great way to get some of your own... and your sunshine may very well do the same for someone else.
---
Great friends are walking reminders of the blessings a place can hold when you feel like you want to drop everything and leave everyone behind.
---
Some things are great to share. Other things, not so much.
---
There are situations in which a state of not caring is sometimes best for your health.
---

blog me

I have always written as a form of release, typically on pages of books that I keep out of others' reach. Now, here on these open pages, I have found a more powerful release, as the very words I once kept from the sight of others have ironically brought others to me.

we give, we get

quote of the day

"Fall seven times, stand up eight."

- Japanese proverb

in shadows

The secret life of Āsharay is different from what you see; a whole persona, feelings, and actions displayed to private eyes... selected eyes. She hides herself behind herself but reveals enough to make her yours. What she is to you may well be what she is to another, but never the two shall meet or know.

quote of the day

'May our desire to have what God has kept from us not keep us from enjoying what He has given to us.'

~Julie Ackerman

a wink and a wiggle

I miss the days when I used to wake up in the morning and all the cares from the previous day were purged away by the break of sleep. Whether I remembered what took place or not, the feelings attached to them, especially the hard and heavy ones, were always magically wiped clean, leaving an open slate for filling each and every day.

I loved that.

I just realized that the only difference between then and now is that my grown-up mind insists on holding on to reality during the night instead of letting the magic work.

Maybe I can fall asleep right now and start over :)

hmmmm
double desire!
sleep & magic...
what a heavenly combination!

stimulus

Why do we react when things happen exactly as we knew they would?
It is as if, after training ourselves, we undermine our own training by secretly or even openly hoping for something different.

restless

I fear that my impatience towards the indecision that replays constantly in my mind will lead me to make a decision now... just for the sake of putting my mind at rest on one side or another... even though a decision now can be costly.

song for this trip

Feb - March 2009 - Halo by Beyoncé