How far does true forgiveness go?
I'll admit that I think I am a little blessed in the area of forgiveness. Over the years I have been more and more accepting of the fact that people fail... that I fail... all the time. More often than not, all I need is a little time and all is made well. The most amazing part, and this I owe completely to God, is that when I finally choose to forgive I am able to do it almost completely. But now I wonder...
It is often said that forgiving means forgetting, but forgetting means potentially making the same mistake again. We often tend to forgive but to say that we are 'learning from the experience' which is code for 'I forgive you, but I'm not trusting you in that area again'. In our minds, it is a necessary part of logical self-preservation... but is it really forgiveness?
You stole my pen and broke it. I forgive you, but I'm hiding my pens from now on...
You stole my heart and broke it. I forgive you, but I'm hiding my heart from now on...
A friend shared a quote with me yesterday and I immediately loved every word of it, believing it to be true. But later I realized that for anyone to have the experience that it speaks of, they would have had to truly, honestly forgive... forgive it all... wipe the slate clean, restore the trust and allow the forgiven the room to do it again the right way... even if the forgiven is thyself.
“Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.”
- Derek Walcott
1 comment:
It's a little scary that you seem to be reading my mind or living my life nowadays. :-D
Forgiveness has been a big theme of 2008 for me. I am one of those "forgive but never forget" people. Though I will usually open up eventually, the memories are hard to erase.
True forgiveness is possible but may take time, because humans tend to indulge in self-preservation. :-)
That quote is great.
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