my ex is mine

Everyone should already know about the unwritten rule that we (girls especially) had in high school.

You can't date the ex of one of your friends.

This was not to say that it didn't happen, but in the cases that it did, whether you liked it or not, most people would not think very highly of the female who decided to break it.

We found that it even extended further than just dating. If your friend were to come and say she is interested in a certain guy before you had a chance to express the same interest, you may find yourself in a bit of tickle. However, if the guy showed no interest in your friend, but showed interest in you, a little consulting and consent from said friend may see you well on your way to dating that boy.

In high school, I endorsed these little rules blindly, 100%. Your friends over any man, any day.

As adulthood creeped in, so did the process of analyzing the very rules we accepted blindly as children.

Adult dating is a more serious affair. It could be the stepping stone to a lifelong partnership. That said, there is considerably more emotion thrown into it and more hope and potential piled on to it. If it doesn't work, it also has a much larger chance of longer term scarring if you had been giving it your all... so it would almost seem like the rule should apply even more, but then that may leave quite a few potential wives and husbands in the untouchable pool.

My opinion on the matter, your ex is not your own.

Firstly, this is a living, thinking, breathing human being we are talking about... not a pot. He/she is not an inanimate object to own and control.

Secondly, if you had the fortunate opportunity of dating someone and realizing before you married them that, for whatever reason, this person is not for you, why hold on to them like property? Now friendship may dictate a period of mourning, and people need to be smart about it as well, no one wants to end up being 'a rebound'... but after that period, and especially if neither you or the person are interested in a second attempt... let it go.

It was a very wise best friend who once told me during my whining about an ex... 'get over yourself!' ...and she was absolutely right.

If we think that being a good friend is staying away from another friend's ex out of courtesy, then why don't we also think that being a good friend is seeing a friend find happiness where we could not.

My ex is not mine.