weigh me down

that weight of the world resting on my shoulders,
pushed into my back and aching my spine,
that runs all the way down to the sole of the feet
which hurt from standing to bare it all,
is eased by the weight of hands pushing those shoulders
in a position which shifts tension outward,
pressing right down the length of the spine
and squeezing all from the back to the sole of the feet
and back again, right up to behind closed eyelids
where weight is converted to calm,
and relaxed lips gently exhale it all.

resolution

Part of me still wants to see a very happy ending to this story...
the problem is that I have no idea what that would look like,
and that I don't actually believe that life is that giving...
but then again, my sight could be very limited.

free

A light feeling rushes in with the passing of the trees.
A sense of calm fills the air, the lungs, and the heart
with every deep breath of gratitude and excitement.
The world is still, save for the rhythmic, harmonious beat
inside chest and speakers... synchronized, unified.
Freedom has arrived.

too good

I can't remember when I gave a label to this thing in my life, but I remember I labelled it because it occurred too many times to not have a name. I called it...

too-good-to-be-true syndrome [too-good-tuh-bee-troo sin-drohm]
-noun

1. a characteristic of feeling that something will never happen because it seems like too much of a good thing;
2. a characteristic of feeling that a situation will not happen, or become cursed, or invoke Murphy's Law by virtue of there being a high level of excitement or anticipation for or toward it;
3. a situation or circumstance in which all other aspects are good but which is sabotaged by (typically) one very important factor that cannot be ignored;
4. a situation, circumstance, or option in which all other aspects are good but for which the timing has rendered it too complicated or unavailable.

sera

what would I do if the situation were different
what would I do if life opened your door
what would I do if accommodation were granted
what would I do if I were free to give more
would I run to you?

Its easy to get into the mode of the what ifs. Our minds can take us as far as we wish to be dragged, but the moments we have now been given are too precious to waste on constantly weighing unknown factors. At some point the whole scale requires a good tossing.

Que sera...

the quest

It's been a long time and a long journey,
a flight through many dark clouds and over many rough seas,
through clear blue skies and over brown and green islands.
One that took us right by the sun as it rose and set,
and through night skies, some bright and clear; some lonely, dark and wet.
We've seen many sides and faces of the same person,
accepted and rejected many different forms of interaction,
come to know much more about ourselves and each other.
We've done all this and so much more and yet
there's still so much more to learn, so much more room to grow,
so many more challenges to face, so much more we need to know
about ourselves and this adventure called life and love.

caricature or portrait?

For every action I display, a character bearing my name is carved into the stone mind of someone watching.

as quoted

'God wants us to come to Him with our complaints. If we march through life pretending to smile while inside we bleed, we dishonor the relationship.'

- Philip Yancey

white flag

It's clear to me that all I seem to be able to do well when it comes to certain things is make a more convoluted mess, so I give it up.
I surrender.

Help! Faada God Help!
Your way or none

hang over

Woke up this morning with the consequences of the night weighing heavy on the mind. A marathon of thoughts and words stayed with me through the cycle of unconscious to conscious.