All things happen in seasons:
the newness of spring; heat and passion of summer;
the shedding of autumn; winter, cold and restful.
The flourishing and fading of life.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
cause
Why is it that explaining love for someone with the words 'because she loves me' is not accepted as good enough, yet we give the same reason for our love for God?
'... because He first loved me.'
'... because He first loved me.'
unjustified
It is very hard to justify oneself
when an action is being done in faith...
if there were evidence of success,
it would not be faith in the first place.
when an action is being done in faith...
if there were evidence of success,
it would not be faith in the first place.
of the day
'Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.'
- Anonymous
- Anonymous
Sunday, July 12, 2009
mustard seeds
all the times I honestly thought that you were beyond the ability to be changed, all the times I doubted that power even existed, all the times I had stopped being faithful to what I know to be true, for all those times... forgive me.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
simple confusion story
---
My friend and I were walking one day, our regular/usual route that we take as our bonding time, and we noticed a track that we hadn't noticed before. Strange. We decided to be adventurous and check this track out, only to find it pretty treacherous... we couldn't always see where we were going, and it had a lot of little slippery parts that made it dangerous but... well, it was also kind of exciting too. We decided that we'll start using the track in our route from now on because not only is the journey more fun, it also increases our bonding as we must depend on each other on the dangerous road.
Only that after many journeys on the track, our increasing dependency started to become an issue and we figured it would be better to try and be more independent on the route. This added another element of excitement for each of us but also added a bit of confusion, which we each glossed over initially as trivial. None wished to ruin the experience of the other person with nagging questions. 'Do I ask for help now if I need it?'; 'Am I imposing if I actually don't want to go it on my own today?'; 'What happens when you master one part faster than me and go ahead, do I call to you to wait?' went unasked and unanswered. The whole thing became more individualistic, and even more emotionally draining but no one wanted to admit any of it. Each preferred to try and give the impression of a great time by their silence.
---
Sounds like confusion right?
I think that adults have a knack for complicating things that do not need to be complicated. Something as simple as taking a walk together became a complicated mess because of the insistence on changing what originally worked, and then trying desperately not to change the experience of it though the circumstances were different. Instead the outcome was a reminder that we are completely unable to control life, and pretending that something does not exist does not make it go away.
The solution I believe lies in just going back to the simple route, with the simple purpose of just spending uncomplicated time together... only that the adult mind is also not great at mastering simplicity in a situation in which complications have already been injected.
My friend and I were walking one day, our regular/usual route that we take as our bonding time, and we noticed a track that we hadn't noticed before. Strange. We decided to be adventurous and check this track out, only to find it pretty treacherous... we couldn't always see where we were going, and it had a lot of little slippery parts that made it dangerous but... well, it was also kind of exciting too. We decided that we'll start using the track in our route from now on because not only is the journey more fun, it also increases our bonding as we must depend on each other on the dangerous road.
Only that after many journeys on the track, our increasing dependency started to become an issue and we figured it would be better to try and be more independent on the route. This added another element of excitement for each of us but also added a bit of confusion, which we each glossed over initially as trivial. None wished to ruin the experience of the other person with nagging questions. 'Do I ask for help now if I need it?'; 'Am I imposing if I actually don't want to go it on my own today?'; 'What happens when you master one part faster than me and go ahead, do I call to you to wait?' went unasked and unanswered. The whole thing became more individualistic, and even more emotionally draining but no one wanted to admit any of it. Each preferred to try and give the impression of a great time by their silence.
---
Sounds like confusion right?
I think that adults have a knack for complicating things that do not need to be complicated. Something as simple as taking a walk together became a complicated mess because of the insistence on changing what originally worked, and then trying desperately not to change the experience of it though the circumstances were different. Instead the outcome was a reminder that we are completely unable to control life, and pretending that something does not exist does not make it go away.
The solution I believe lies in just going back to the simple route, with the simple purpose of just spending uncomplicated time together... only that the adult mind is also not great at mastering simplicity in a situation in which complications have already been injected.
Monday, July 06, 2009
tangible conversations
My voice runs through my head, my thoughts reaching up, out and far
I speak sometimes faster than my mind can form the words
never stopping to listen to myself or anything else
I release, in rapid succession the things that plague my mind
and hope that maybe they are heard, and known, and understood...
but I'm not always convinced of this,
a failing of mine
and so
I write them down, and make them tangible...
and sometimes, so does He.
I speak sometimes faster than my mind can form the words
never stopping to listen to myself or anything else
I release, in rapid succession the things that plague my mind
and hope that maybe they are heard, and known, and understood...
but I'm not always convinced of this,
a failing of mine
and so
I write them down, and make them tangible...
and sometimes, so does He.
unsettled
I have an uneasy feeling that I cannot explain
that comes to the fore every time I think your name.
It's a feeling that maybe what I thought was resolved
has not been completed or resolved at all,
and that this stretch of time is just a delay,
a lesson in patience, with more on the way.
Could God's response be different from this, and it be true
that now is not the end?
Do I continue to have faith for the saving of a friend?
that comes to the fore every time I think your name.
It's a feeling that maybe what I thought was resolved
has not been completed or resolved at all,
and that this stretch of time is just a delay,
a lesson in patience, with more on the way.
Could God's response be different from this, and it be true
that now is not the end?
Do I continue to have faith for the saving of a friend?
Sunday, July 05, 2009
love is...
... enduring, kind, selfless, bearing, believing, hopeful,
devoid of evil, envy and arrogance, and is delighted in truth.
(The Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Deep feelings in a positive direction can ride easily with equally deep feelings of the opposite nature that are much like envy, selfishness, arrogance and unkindness. Love, after all, cannot sing sweet all the time, right? But I have come to realize and accept that love is not a feeling.
Love
is a verb
It is a doing-word that involves quite a bit of doing and giving. It is not easy to endure, be consistently kind or selfless. It is very difficult to not succumb to boasting or feelings of envy. It is hard work to do something unconditionally... but that is exactly what love requires, and the depth of our love is measured by what we are willing to give and not by what we feel.
Love
is sacrifice
and God
is the greatest example.
'In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world that we might live through him.'
- The Bible: 1 John 4:9
devoid of evil, envy and arrogance, and is delighted in truth.
(The Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Deep feelings in a positive direction can ride easily with equally deep feelings of the opposite nature that are much like envy, selfishness, arrogance and unkindness. Love, after all, cannot sing sweet all the time, right? But I have come to realize and accept that love is not a feeling.
Love
is a verb
It is a doing-word that involves quite a bit of doing and giving. It is not easy to endure, be consistently kind or selfless. It is very difficult to not succumb to boasting or feelings of envy. It is hard work to do something unconditionally... but that is exactly what love requires, and the depth of our love is measured by what we are willing to give and not by what we feel.
Love
is sacrifice
and God
is the greatest example.
'In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world that we might live through him.'
- The Bible: 1 John 4:9
Friday, July 03, 2009
today and always...
Hey Stu-peas
I suppose it's pointless to tell you happy birthday, but I will say I'm thinking about you a lot today. I can't believe you're not here for so many things, the death of Michael Jackson, our childhood singing and dancing legend and icon, being one of them. There's no one else save blood relative that I could possibly say the words 'Michael Jackson has died' and they would understand the detailed implications to me personally the way you would. I really missed you then, as I miss you now, today, on your birthday.
I still hear your many jokes and unique nicknames for people playing in my head in your voice. I still see that look you give me the millisecond after you buss a big joke and are waiting to hear the eruption that will burst forth from my mouth, or that wonderfully raised eyebrow and curled lip when you're being sarcastic... yea, I miss you like I miss cook food at 12:30 on a work day when my lunch time is 1pm, I miss you like Zaire misses the family when they are at work, I miss you like a sister misses her brother when he is gone... too soon.
love you
Aisharay
I suppose it's pointless to tell you happy birthday, but I will say I'm thinking about you a lot today. I can't believe you're not here for so many things, the death of Michael Jackson, our childhood singing and dancing legend and icon, being one of them. There's no one else save blood relative that I could possibly say the words 'Michael Jackson has died' and they would understand the detailed implications to me personally the way you would. I really missed you then, as I miss you now, today, on your birthday.
I still hear your many jokes and unique nicknames for people playing in my head in your voice. I still see that look you give me the millisecond after you buss a big joke and are waiting to hear the eruption that will burst forth from my mouth, or that wonderfully raised eyebrow and curled lip when you're being sarcastic... yea, I miss you like I miss cook food at 12:30 on a work day when my lunch time is 1pm, I miss you like Zaire misses the family when they are at work, I miss you like a sister misses her brother when he is gone... too soon.
love you
Aisharay
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)