grasping feelings

The truth. The whole truth. The entire story.

Not just YOUR whole truth. THE whole truth. The bigger picture. The parts you did not even know you did not know. The details you did not request, and possibly, none of the details you want. The parts that maybe do not even include you, that dwarf you. Entire connections from before the beginning, revealed and released, can melt a mountain of rock hard feelings into a pool of understanding. Real understanding. Clear connections of all the dots, not clouded by your judgment cast on the players, but a grasp of the reality that everything stems from something else and no one person holds all blame.

No one person holds all blame. Which means there is no one to blame. No one left to throw all your anger and pain towards. No one left to help you get rid of it but you. Truth comes with consequences, and those consequences lie squarely on your shoulders when you realize you have to deal with your own feelings and stop shelving them on someone else, stop casting blame for the way you feel away from you, instead of directed at you. Consequences that leave you face to face with understanding how your feelings came about, and God forbid, showing compassion to the very persons who before you held accountable for those feelings. Why? Because all the time the story is larger than what you can see. Because you play a role, no matter how in/significant you believe it to be. Because holding hard feelings only makes you heavy, and throwing hard feelings only makes you weak, and because the only way to really rid yourself of them is to break them into smaller, softer pieces and wrap them in understanding the truth. The whole truth. The entire story. The larger picture.