more

Weak and trembling, she slowly unfolds from that huddled position in the dark corner and, gaining more energy and stature with each slow and deliberate step, walks tentatively until her entire being has been illuminated.

Lifting her head to reveal glistening eyes, she speaks the words softly but confidently, 'I'm ready for more'.

minute

it's amazing that you can live with someone for so long and not know the simplest little details about them

on edge

sitting on the top of potential
pregnant, ripe and bursting
unsure of what direction to go
feeling very apprehensive
wanting to leap off the high edge
make a rash decision
change the equation in a split second
and feel the rush of an adrenaline release

stole the words right out...

I can be a wreck of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I have the craziest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone who's as positive as I am sometimes
And you’ve never met anyone who's as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
And you're still here...

Adapted from Alanis Morissette's 'Everything'

life's little irony

We want to be undauntedly close and connected; to throw ourselves deep into someone else and yet we are steadfast in our ability to preserve our own selves with distance.

actions betray desire
until both are unified
by the hero of trust

literary attraction

I want to dive into your head and be drowned in the sea of words that float in your mind. I want to be lost with every letter and be found deep inside the thoughts expressed by their joining. I want to hang long and slow on every feeling and be punctuated with emotional eruptions of all my senses. I want to drink in the flowing bittersweet moments that form in abstract from your release. I want to squeeze into the hidden dark spaces between the lines and be pressed against the invisible words too far in to be formed in the light. I want to feel and to know the essence of you.

arm's length

I've practiced the art of creating distance until it is now what I am most comfortable with. I sense a problem brewing.

green grass syndrome

Time makes everything green again.

You could have been having the worst time in the world, anxious to get away from all the stresses and bothers, and yet. Sure, there are things you will miss, but everything just weighs down on you and you just can't wait to leave. Oh to get to that green pasture on the other side of your mind. The freedoms and joys that await you there are endless. The excitement of something new. A new day. A new dawn. Or a return to something you just can't wait to be back to.

We are actually very unkind to ourselves when we filter our thoughts or our memories and keep the good parts. It's something people tell us to do all the time. Forget the bad, remember the good in people, in places, in things. But when we do that, we create a false reality in our heads of something that was better than it really was when we were experiencing it. And that can be dangerous when we end up longing for that memory.

Now there are legitimate times when things were better than they are now, and it wasn't just a figment of your imagination, but the point is that every situation has stress. I am number one for living in any time and place but the present. Unless I am outright having a great time, my mind either rewinds or fast forwards until it hits some green. But I'm slowly yanking myself out of that false reality syndrome so that I can finally condition myself to appreciate everything rather than constantly switching my mind to another time zone.

Brown is the new green.

categorically speaking

I put people into boxes
because I find they are safe there.

Yes I have an independent front,
most of us do.
But I'm dependent
on quite a number of people
for quite a number of things
and my emotional compass
is better able to navigate
with categories.

I have a best friend,
that speaks for itself.
I have a close circle
with various people
on various spots
in the concentric rings
around the centre

and then there is the periphery.

It's hard to say
that no one person
is more important than the other
because distance from the source
is often inversely proportional
to potential energy...
the potential to create trust
and thus to create loss
that drives the fear
of pulling more
into the middle.

you,
sitting there reading this
are in a category...
and your distance from the source
is determined by my interpretation
of your ability to handle that potential energy.

acrophobia

stay on the plain so there's nowhere to fall
or climb up those elephants and risk it all?

what if I'm already three-quarters the way up?