darkness for day

be·neath my eye·lids
na·ture sus·pend·ed in place
I am beau·ti·ful

memories

I just can’t remove that image from my head:
Of a bright summer garden in the sunshine,
an old broken bench perched in a corner,
upon it two people staring, eyes in smiles,
the book they were reading while cuddled together
sitting in the blades of grass beneath their feet;

Of a group pealing laughter and stamping feet
and the girl beside them trying to keep her head
in her book, her mind on work, and herself together,
instead too captivated by the group’s constant shine
but also by the boy causing their smiles,
so she joins them in their jesting corner;

Of a chapel next to a garden’s corner
where a group of friends lay, resting their feet,
their antics leading to laughter and smiles
when one lets adrenaline go to his head
and falls face down in his attempt to shine
erupting the laughter that brought them together;

Of two young girls, their heads together
whispering and smiling in the class corner
staring at a boy, their faces flushed and shine
from blushing, as they look to their feet
to avoid him as he turns his head
in their attempt to conceal their smiles;

Of a boy and a girl bursting in smiles
as they ride their bikes in the wind together,
the boy trying not to be too far ahead
‘til they get to a field in the valley’s corner
and leave their bikes and walk with bare feet
on the dusty ground in the summer sunshine;

Of two friends watching the sun trying to shine
over the horizon, the waves crashing in smiles
on the shore, wetting the sand beneath their feet
as they sit on a towel and talk together
lost in the beauty of their private corner
celebrating the return of a year from tail to head;

Of all the others that shine and blend together,
the smiles of memories from the mind’s corner,
where images fall like feathers from head to feet.

avalanche

the more you withhold
the more you distance
the more I search
the more I discover
the more I realize
the little I know you
the more I hurt
the more I expect less
the more I distance
the more you search
the more you discover
the more you realize
the little you know me

for love of johnny

In this ever-changing small world
seasons come and go
wild is the wind,
and evergreen the trees...
I met someone who
is just as wild and changing
who moved me with a certain smile
or made me misty from a single glance

Wonderful. Wonderful is the feeling
that a true love story could unfold
another with whom to hold
'til the twelfth of never...
but never came too soon
little reward for the risk,
a time for us didn't really exist

We tried, didn't we...
and almost got it right
but almost is not enough
to turn our night to day
and chances are our chance has past
and we'll never meet again...
but then...
it's not for me to say

cleansing

I love long hot showers
perfect
...for washing
the troubles out of my hair
the pain from my face
the anxiety from my mind
...for watching them all
flow like tears
down the drain

blast from the past

It's the little things
that make a friendship unique from the start.
Those special moments become memories
that never leave your heart.
Those tiny little gestures of love
that trickle through,
make me sit and reminisce
of all we used to do...

Things like kickin' back and lymin'
seem like such a luxury,
for when we're far apart it's total misery.
But though we may not see nor hear
each others cries and joys,
due to the fast expanse of space
that exists between our shores,
we're still connected to each other
just as we were before,
and sometimes I think
it's brought us closer even more.

I still miss that joker smile
that used to bright my day,
and those expressive eyebrows
in their funny little way,
but its not goodbye
even though we're far apart,
because you've got a permanent spot
right here within my heart.
And though some things may change
there are few things that will never,
like the love and laughter we share
as best friends... forever.

[23 Feb 1998 - Dedicated to Carla T.]
Happy Birthday Chica!

just won't drink

It can’t be forced or ‘guilted into’;
can’t be convinced to do by logical thought;
can’t be persuaded by screams or cries;
and most definitely cannot be bought;

can’t be coerced by cute gestures;
can’t be made alive through daytime thoughts;
can’t be owed to you because you cared,
and invested your time, emotion, and calls.

All you can do is be what you long for,
but realize that even this does not guarantee,
because you can’t make a friend be a friend to you,
and that’s just life, and it doesn’t always rhyme.

lifetime in a year

"length is meaningless; depth is everything"
-A.M.B

happy birthday to a healthy friendship

tender

a soft, familiar voice;
a simple written word;
an unexpected reminder
that you are lovingly remembered,
can move a mountain of soul.

weakness resurfaced

I rest in that difficult place
between options and conviction,
the throwing around of ideas
in constant circles, forming
endless knotting in my stomach.