is this it...

What if the better I am hoping to find is just a myth?
What if everything right now is really about as good as it's ever going to get?

quote of the day: love

'A happy but miserable state in which man finds himself from time to time; sometimes he believes he is happy by loving, then suddenly he finds how miserable he is. It is all joy, it sweetens life, but it does not last. It comes and goes, but when it is active, there is no greater virtue, because it makes one supremely happy.'

Marcus Mosiah Garvey

blood for bitches

If only all the bitches and dogs in our lives could get what they deserved, we would all be happier for it... or so we think... till we realize we are not exempt from those categories. Someone somewhere feels like we did them wrong, or are insensitive; unforgiving; miserable; manipulative... and they would be right.

Thank God for unfairness: for mercy and forgiveness when we do not deserve it.

[Part II]

ode to the bitch

• music is wonderful, but constant singing in an office environment is annoying... in fact, it's more than annoying.. it may drive me to injure someone.
  
• if I don't care about it or you now, it likely means you made me worked-up over trivial foolishness before.
  
• the same applies with feeling guilty.
  
• I can be cold. I know that. You made me that way. Get used to it.
  
• nothing lasts forever.

[Part I]

reflected

We are all different people with varying personalities/strengths/weaknesses depending on where we are and who we are with. We tend to think the most unaltered state of ourselves will exist when we are by ourselves. Some of us love that base person, others, not so much.

After realizing that baseline persona, we tend to gravitate to those with whom we can either still remain that person, or be someone we like even more.

quote of the day

'I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.'

Ecclesiastes 9:11

conditions

There is simply no substitute for someone who seems to love and care for you no matter what you do. There is however, an overwhelming sense of gratitude and desire to reciprocate.

anticlimactic

For both health of body and mind, I am not looking forward to returning to the desk that awaits me.

concluding

The season of stress is over and done with, for now. A cause for celebration? I suppose.

The days that lie ahead seem both daunting and promising, but not yet exciting.

All in time.

clouded

How long must I wait
to be able to say that I am proudly doing
what I am already doing right now?