letting go

I don't want to, but I'm being forced.

Forced by the circumstances of the days ahead,
forced by the circumstances of the days behind.

We depended on each other,
even while believing we were acting independently,
and now we all, independently yet collectively,
have found our reasons to slowly walk away.

I am sad. Very sad.
The closing of more than a decade,
the leaving of a very deep passion.

Will I ever be truly gone. No. Not likely.
My physical influence, held in place
by my unconditional love, will always remain.

So here we are, facing the year ahead with one goal in mind:
leave the legacy in good hands.

whats with all the planning?

There's something about concert that I really love. The playing, yes, but also the planning and the final execution. I gave it up this year because I was warned and chastised that it's not possible to lead in both areas, not concert and band at the same time. So I didn't. But whereas I love leading the band, my special spot on the exec is with the finances, and my favourite spot to lead is with the concert. But why?

It is very possible that what I like is event planning in general... but I honestly don't feel the same level of excitement for random events. Planning a show... now that's the good stuff. Any show? Not sure yet. I've done a few church shows, those were fun... but the scale of something like a Panfest... well, can't compare. The product is also so unique, that I just love to work with it. Why not promote the instrument I love to play! It's an awesome combination.

I didn't plan this year. I probably won't get to plan next year either, but we'll see. I do have an opportunity to plan something else for the stage though... and while it initially seemed exciting, I'm also very scared to take it on. There's a big difference between working with a group like a club and working with hired help, and that is the difference between mildly freaking and having a hernia. Am I up for it? Lord knows.

concluding

The season of stress is over and done with, for now. A cause for celebration? I suppose.

The days that lie ahead seem both daunting and promising, but not yet exciting.

All in time.