the beat up

I take a long time to decide things.
I will drag it out for as long as I can to gather as much as I can to help me to decide.
I may even pray that something else forces a decision for me,
and I do all this because I know.
I know I will beat myself up terribly when the choice is all wrong.

the raeven haven

This wall has been the place for me
to write my thoughts, to release them free
it's served me well through many years,
through many smiles, through many tears
and though the ride is not over yet
I must admit I sometimes forget
the wonderful release of this little wall
when I simply grab a phone and call
my fi! [fee]

today and always

screaming
love
at the top
of my lungs

sinking

Music
loud enough
can drown
out
anything
including
life

blocked in

shouting through all the orifices
screaming and squeezing out the relief
I feel stir crazy again
Walls and thoughts closing in on me
I feel like I need to run, to break,
to exert just enough energy to cause the release.
I feel like I need to dance and shout my insides out.

green grass

Nothing to do with the actual grass,
all to do with the colours...
the colours of the eyes
the thoughts of the mind
the appreciation of the present
the acceptance of the future
the beauty of the now
and the release of the could-have-been.
It's all in the eyes...
It's all in the mind...
and if that place where you are not is always greener
maybe green is not your colour.
Try some red instead.

seeds of the mind

She sits at the window till way in the morning
while her mind roams the garden late in the night
talking to her silent friend who waits at the gate
for her fantasies to catch up with her reality

quote of the day

"It is to confess we are called, not merely to profess.

If I profess, with the loudest voice and the clearest exposition, every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christianity.

Where the battle rages the loyalty of the soldier is proved; and to be steady on all the battle-field besides is mere flight and disgrace to him if he flinches at that one point."

- Excerpt from the book
The Chronicles of the Schoenberg Cotta Family
by Thomas Nelson, 1864

clear roads ahead

We take our youth for granted, till it's too late to be young and foolish again.

blind man walking

Some life mistakes are not easily undone, and the only lesson they can offer is that some opportunities should be seized and not wasted, for they may never come our way again.