fragile

The problem with a friendship built on fragile ground is that it is likely to crack under the weight of human emotion, causing the whole thing to collapse at any time.

'...you're my firm foundation. I know I can stand secure'

buried

You trick yourself into thinking
it will go away if you hide it
if only no one will bring it up,
it will cease to exist...
but you stand like an ostrich
with your head buried deep in dung
not realizing your dream of peace
will never be fulfilled...
for ‘he who hides the wrong he does,
does the wrong thing still’.

vomit

the involuntary rejection of unwanted matter;
the purging of that which does not belong;
the desire to drip every drop of darkness out
leaving pools of refuse on the floor

shrouded

When you live your life in a system created by the devil you will find it tainted with what we describe as human instinct. The ability to lie, cheat, steal, injure, kill and ultimately to hate is the balance that makes the coin exist. The inability to recognize this for what it is, is the trap that many of us fall into and are swallowed whole; the one thing that tips the balance in the wrong direction.

infected

pierced by the needle holding your infection
spread through my blood like a raging river
disguised as a vitamin desired for improvement
but improving only the lies being fed to the mind.

life-changing decisions made at the time
based on a false reality laid on the table
hope of a future brighter than the past
the actual brightness slipping with each façade…

the infection drives its course
revealing itself for the stink it is
causing damage too far gone to improve
too deep rooted to even be detected

cleansing of the diseases manifesting slowly
but the inability to cure that which is yet unknown
leaves an infection silently incubating
rotting away at my core.

write-off

When is it enough...
When is that thought that keeps the pen in motion
allowed to give way to others more important than itself;
At what point is the therapy complete,
the ritual over, the pages too full;
Why can't that thing that stains my mind
be bled out by the ink that stains the page;
Why can't I write it out and write it away?

flipside

I suppose I should be grateful.

For it is far better to have more passions in this life than time will allow pursuit, than to have no passions at all.

spill the yoke

I don't want an update on the things that happened in your day.
I won't give an update on the things that happened in mine.
Instead of speaking from without,
I wish to express from within.

I feel...

I feel disturbed and saddened by the belief that people I really care about are slipping away. I feel troubled that people I thought I knew well would prefer to express what they think I want to hear rather than what's really going on. I feel elated and excited about the newness of other things entering my life. I feel slightly nervous about some of the things that make me so excited. I feel tied down... bonded is the perfect word... to the routine of the rest of the working world which I feel I am finally becoming a serious member of, but then I feel set free to plan long-term goals. I feel apprehensive because I believe this stage of my life to be critical in determining where I will end up and I don't want to make the wrong choices. But then I feel as if I am making too much out of small things and creating needless worry. I feel restless. I feel the need to express my feelings.

You feelin' me?

Then let me feel you.

insomnia

I love the loneliness of the night
the quietness of the darkness
the coolness of the air
the clarity of my mind...

but it comes at a high price,
a penalty of fatigue.

incomplete

You're like a bright little shining star
whose brightest moment is at the beginning...

That first chapter is a 'must read',
a mind teaser, a crowd pleaser.

Like a sprinter,
you possess the gift of a powerful start
with anything you set your mind on.
You strive for it with intense passion,
deep focus, and unmatched energy.

Until...

until the distance is longer than your passion can take you
until the book demands more than a great first chapter
until the task requires a full and proper ending
until the little star burns brighter than it can be sustained
until you get distracted and simply walk away.

You're great at saying hello...
but you're horrible at goodbye.